EX - Revelations

Another sigh huffed out of the Blue Bomber.  He dropped his head into one hand, glad that he'd thought to change out of his armor and into some plain clothes--jeans and a blue t-shirt.  Seated on the lower bunk--his bunk--the helmet did have a tendency to scrape the underside of Zero's bed, and while that wouldn't harm his armor any, it was kind of annoying when he was trying to RELAX.

Green eyes slid shut again as X rifled through his brain, brow furrowing as he strained for something, anything, that he could remember about that name...

Wily.  Why did he feel like he should know it?  Why did it sound so important?  Why could he not remember?

***

No one was ever stupid enough to get in Zero Omega's way when said commander was obviously brooding. Albeit, not in his usual storm of rage and murder. But very brooding.

Wily. Doctor Albert Wily. Doctor Albert 'The Fucking Devil' Wily. Damn him. So many years after his death, and the bastard still couldn't leave him alone. And worse, he couldn't leave X alone. The bastard. How dare he...how dare--?!

Easy, Z. You already had one freak out today.

He paused at the door to his and X's room, grimacing. He...hadn't been thinking when he stormed off earlier. Not properly anyway. Which was especially bad considering...

...best not to think about it at the moment. The second-in-command of the Hunters, worried for his second-in-command, heaved a sigh, pulled a single hand out of his jacket, and knocked, gently, on the door.

"X", the elder brother-in-arms called, "You in there?"

X gave a jolt as he heard Zero's voice--but promptly clamped down on the sudden burst of skittishness.  Zero had...not been himself the last time they spoke.  The memory of Zero's face--so twisted in rage that for a heartbeat, his best friend had looked like a Maverick--would not leave him alone.

Nevertheless, from the sound of Zero's voice, he seemed to have calmed down for the moment...which was encouraging.  It didn't make X worry any less, but it was encouraging.

"Yes," the smaller Reploid replied, careful to keep his voice neutral.  "Come on in."

Zero grimaced. X's voice was a tad warbly. Which meant he was still freaked. Crap. Still, the blonde entered the room, blue eyes falling on the Blue Bomber as he slipped in. "You alright?"

Of course he's not alright. I scared the hell out of him, and worse, I tossed him like a rag doll. He's probably banged up to hell, mentally and physically. God, I'm a bastard.... Except X more-or-less looked physically sound...so the situation didn't seem too bad. ...Still, acting like a Maverick before X is really just stupid. 'Specially with my record.

X plastered on his most encouraging, winning smile.  "I'm fine," he assured the taller Reploid, even though his stomach did backflips at the look on Zero's face.  He's worried about me.  Worried to HELL and back.  He could try to hide it all he wanted, but X knew his best friend--no, his BROTHER--better than anyone.  Right now, Zero was mentally beating the tar out of himself for what he'd done earlier, and X wanted none of that.

"What I want to know, though, is are YOU okay."  The smile faded, replaced with a concerned look, one that X tried his hardest to temper, to not give away TOO much worry.  X worrying would worry Zero, which would in turn make X worry more--theirs was a vicious cycle.

...Oh hell. Zero was bemoaning said vicious cycle at the moment--X never was all that great at faking not being worried. "Yeah...I'm okay...sorry about earlier..." I go on a rampage, nearly attack him, and HE'S worried about ME? Jesus Christ...

X let out a sigh, one that he tried to draw out for as long as possible, as if able to simply breathe out all his tension.  Not that that would EVER work, but still... "Good.  It's okay, honestly."  He shook his head, but didn't try the smile again, knowing it would look more fake than ever this time.  "It's alright."

For a moment, X wasn't sure what else he could say.  Green eyes dropped to the ground, but flitted to one side when X realized he was clasping and unclasping his hands.

"Zero...I...wanted to ask you something."

The blonde did not like the sound of this. Not at ALL. Especially considering what had happened earlier, and consider X didn't remember anything before Cain stumbled on him....

But it was going to happen eventually, wasn't it?

Zero ducked down and plopped on the bed, next to his brother, keeping slumped and his head ducked to fit properly. Which would've looked ridiculous had Zero not had practice in looking decent while doing so. "Yes?"

About a milligram of tension left the smaller Reploid as his brother sat down next to him.  This conversation would have been unaccountably awkward had X been forced to meet eyes with the seven-foot-tall Red Ripper while sitting.

Plus, it was just good to have him near.  It was encouraging.  Worry was still present, as always, but...definitely encouraging.

X couldn't stop fiddling with his hands.

"That name you mentioned earlier...Wily."  He swallowed, suddenly feeling stupid and not knowing why.  "I feel like I've heard it somewhere before, but I can't remember where or when...or why it even matters."  X let out a short sigh, the puff of air fluttering brunette bangs.

...Oh HELL. He knew it was coming, but that didn't stop the dread. The past--despite being better than the present--still was highly traumatic for all involved. And the blonde had only been around for the last two years of it. He had only needed to fight Wily once. X? You would've had to factor in infinity to figure out all the clashes in the Wily Wars he had as a child.

Zero gulped. "Lemme guess--'Who is he, why do I feel like I know him, and why do you want to rip him to pieces', right?"

"Yeah," X nearly laughed, running a hand through his bangs, "that about sums it up."  Man, did he feel stupid.  "I feel like I should KNOW this, but I just...I can't remember."  He let out a forlorn sigh, eyes settling at half-mast.

Zero's own eyes went half mast, settling on something in the non-existent distance as flashes of blood and oil crashed through his head. "Doesn't surprise me..." he mumbled--it was his fault, after all.

He heaved a sigh. If the bunk would've allowed it, he would've sat up more, but alas, such was the problem of being oversized.

"How much do you remember 'fore old man Cain found you and E in that abandoned bunker?"

X's brow furrowed.  Wait a second...what exactly did Zero know?  He looked up at his best friend, quipping an eyebrow.  "What do you mean it doesn't surprise y--"  The look on his face...

He blinked at the question, once, twice.  "Nothing," he answered frankly.  "I thought you knew that."  What was Zero talking about?  Before?  Hadn't he been 'born' that day?  "Zero, are you okay?"

"Hmmmmn." The blonde frowned, gnawing on the corner of his lip in thought. "I'm fine." He looked away again. This is gonna suck.

X scowled.  "No you're not.  Zero, please tell me..."  Tell him what?  Why Zero was so anxious about this?  What he knew that X didn't?  What this whole Wily thing was about?  Why Zero had flown off the handle at the mere mentionof him?  Why did he suddenly get the feeling that something had gone on before his birth that he should be very much aware of...and wasn't?  Yes.  All of the above.  And the way X trailed off after the question said as much.

Zero glanced back. "Where do you want me to start?" Because it was pretty obvious no matter how much the blonde squirmed, this was something he was not going to be able to worm out of. And, really, there were waaaaay to many places he could start from, from subtle to jarring.

X fixed his eyes onto Zero's, green boring into blue, catching his brother and waiting, with patient resolve, for the honest truth.

"From the beginning."

It was, after all, a very good place to start.

"...er...There isn't one." Not one Zero had been around for, anyway.

Which was more or less why he had asked in the first place.

X let out a patient sigh.  "Alright, then...start with what I already know."

Zero mumbled something about this being easier without having to account for amnesia, but complied, thinking. "Dr. Light, your creator, once had two assistants. One was Dr. Serenade, Ely's creator. The other, however, was Dr. Wily. Dr. Wily was a shallow, haughty, evil man, and was jealous of Dr. Light's fame and the public's adoration for the good man. So, he stole six of Light's robots, re-programed them, and tried to take over the world." A pause. "He also had a really wonky German accent which was either fake or distorted by his being a giant ham." Zero sighed and continued. "I'm not sure how many times Wily tried to take over, but it was a god-awful lot, lemme tell you. Failed every time, and the last one got him killed."

X merely nodded along as Zero spoke, absorbing the information.  There was more; he could feel it.  Zero wouldn't be betraying such anxiety if there wasn't.  "...but the story doesn't end there, does it."

"...No." So much for hoping X would drop it. "Unfortunately, ham that he was, he was a smart little bastard. Got Light to trust him again a couple of times--though, that might just have been that Light was almost as bad as you when it comes to idealism--fooled the world several times over, created the robotic version of the flu, even tricked Dr. Serenade once, despite her tendency to kick him unceremoniously out--or off--of anything." Speaking of, Zero mentally kicked himself for being so informal about them, considering X didn't remember shit.

X's brow furrowed as he contemplated Zero's words.  Him and his creator had a personality trait in common?  What else did Zero know about the man who'd made him?  And...how did he know it, for that matter?

The question lingered in his eyes, and by the time he became aware of the look on his face and met Zero's eyes, he didn't ask--he figured he didn't need to.

But he wanted more.  Needed to hear more.

"Dr. Wily also had a habit of accidentally making things he didn't intend to. Twice, he accidentally created a robot with sentient AI--possibly more, but those two got away. First one and older was a ninja-based robot--and didn't really like being called that--uninspiredly named Shadow, though most people called him Shades as a joke due to his being brothers-in-arms with the first Light 'bot, Blues, who was never seen without sunglasses on. The second one was Forte, who was a bit of a prick and power hungry, but was actually a decent guy if you could withstand the arrogance." Okay, now he was just reminiscing. Back on the tangent. "The first time Wily went out to take over the world, there was...a slight problem. He had taken all of the robots who could be combat-oriented. Only Light's second robot son and robot daughter were left." He glanced over. "Mind you, this is the abridged version--I'm not quite sure what happened exactly for a while, but--"

"...But?"  Now X was listening with wide-eyed, rapt attention.  So much of what Zero said pulled at him, tugging at something--no, a myriad of somethings--in the back of his mind, none of which he could put his finger on, but he wanted to know more.  About all of it.  He felt like he was on the brink of understanding, as if there was one crucial piece of information missing, and if he had just that, everything--all of what Zero was saying, all of what he already knew, and didn't know--would fall into place.

"His son begged Dr. Light into upgrading him into a fighter so he could fight Wily off. After much imploring, the good doctor agreed, and the son was sent off to battle after battle." Blue eyes glanced over. "...You're about to ask what his name was, aren't you." X was easy to read.

X blinked rapidly, sitting back up a bit--he hadn't realized he'd been leaning forward, as if magnetically drawn to Zero's tale.  "Well, I want to know, yes," he mumbled, looking down and fidgeting.  He wasn't actually going to ask...he didn't want to interrupt.  But he certainly wanted to know.

Zero heaved a sigh, semi-amused. "...His name was Rock Light. The original Megaman. "

X blinked.  He sat back all the way, staring at Zero bemusedly.  There was no trace of apprehension, no trace of astonishment or horror, just...confusion.  Simple confusion.

"Wait...what?"

Zero smirked again. "Did I stutter? Where do you think your title came from, Squirt?" There was a low sigh. "But yeah, that was his name. Rock. Even better, his sister's name was Roll. The late twenty-first century had a thing about music, it seems."

"Rock and...Roll..."  Okay, what the hell?  Now he wasn't just imagining things--he KNEW those names.  Knew them.  Without a shadow of a doubt.  Even though he was absolutely certain that he'd never heard them before in his life.  Seriously...Rock and Roll?  He couldn't decide if that was adorable, hilarious, ridiculous, or some combination thereof...and he couldn't figure out if he'd alreadydecided, or what that decision had been.

For a long moment, X's emerald gaze lay on the carpet, though his eyes refocused as if gazing through a great distance.

Rock was the first Megaman.  He was the second.  Right?  But...why did it feel like...?  He couldn't even finish the thought.  He didn't even know WHAT he was thinking.  X shook his head.

"Sorry.  Go on."

Zero blinked. Had he almost--

Nah, something that lame was not a memory jogger.

He began again. "Anyway...fight after fight began with Wily. Twenty years, it lasted, with no break in sight. Eventually, Light, wanting his children and the two defected Wilys to be able to grow and exist without Dr. Serenade and himself around--they were getting old by then--he began a project to create pure and utter sentience in a machine, making the Three Laws of Robotics obsolete due to creating an actual moral system. It was meant to only be an upgrade..." A deep, heartbroken sigh. " At the same time, Dr. Serenade was working on finishing Ely. She wasn't a full-on robotic engineer, however, so she asked if she could use some of the new blueprints Light had created as a spring board." A grimace. "This is when Wily tricked her."

X returned to his previous wide-eyed state.  Again, he felt like Zero was growing towards something vitally important, but leaving out that crucial detail that would let it all fall into place--but it was stronger this time.  "What happened?"

"Wily convinced her he only wanted to make his last robot ready to atone for everything he had ever done, getting her to give a copy of the blueprints, which he would later twist into a disgusting mess of something half-bestial, half-humanoid. At the same time, he was developing a virus; said virus, when the robot was completed, would transmute all of the 'roid's programs into becoming it's mind and permanent host. Thankfully, she found out and swiped the beta form away. Unfortunately, he...wasn't entirely finished yet." Zero found himself running a hand over the eye he had been missing during those times before smoothing it out into running through his bangs, tiredly.

Okay, X was definitely missing something, and he got the feeling that it wasn't entirely his fault.  Zero kept speaking with a certain lack of Proper nouns, and X was starting to pick up on that.  He shot his brother-in-arms the slightest of suspicious looks, one mingled with more obvious worry at the way Zero's face had suddenly adopted a weary look.  Somehow, these events had affected Zero personally, otherwise he wouldn't be looking like that.  His words, though, hinted otherwise--hence, X's suspicion.

But he wanted Zero to finish before pelting him with questions.

"So what happened?"

"For about two years, she adopted him and kept him under her roof with the ex-Wily bots. During this time, he and Rock ended up being good friends, although the beta couldn't talk." A sigh. "Then Wily came, trashed to hell. Apparently, without a mind, the virus was going ape shit all over the country, and Wily had barely escaped. Neither Dr. Serenade, nor the ex-Wily 'bots, nor Blues believed him. But Rock and Light figured he couldn't have been that much of a liar." Zero shook his head. "Fools to the bitter end....The beta volunteered to help Rock--oddly, a buster was one of the few things not missing on him. They began beating down on all the robots driven mad by the Virus. Meanwhile, Wily began help piecing the beta together--" Zero couldn't help but shudder here, "--between rounds. Eventually, it got to the point where Wily actually offered to upgrade the beta. The beta, not knowing any better, said yes." Zero shook his head again, closing his eyes.

He wanted to ask, but he was afraid of the answer.  He seldom saw his brother shiver like that.  This story wasn't just about some people who had lived long ago.  These were Zero's memories.

He wanted to ask, but he was afraid of the answer.  The name.

He decided to let Zero finish first.

"...what happened after that?"

"...The robot was upgraded alright. Painfully. While awake. And his systems were transmuted into the virus. Wily had planned everything, down to the letter. He even made sure to add a collar on the robot's neck so he wouldn't kill him in his madness. And then..." Another shudder. "...Then he set the robot out on his family. And he killed them. Shades. Blues. Forte. Rock was the only one to get a shot in, which destroyed the collar, but..." Zero's head bowed. "...Rock was ripped apart as a result."

"...Wily brought the robot back to his lair for repairs...but without the collar controlling him, the robot just gutted him. He would've gone on a rampage, had Dr. Serenade not tricked him into being sealed in a stasis pod. As for the Lights...Shades, Blues, and Forte were unable to be repaired in any form. Rock, however, was, but using the blueprints that started the whole mess, but..." Another shake of his head. "Rock's processor and motherboard were fried. No matter what, he wouldn't remember shit. He might've even been a completely different person. But by then, the government decided all robots were evil, and the world was on its way to the crapsack it was when Cain was still alive. Roll had been captured and shut down. Dr. Light and Dr. Serenade hid themselves away. There had been no choice..."

His voice trailed away. This was the part he was dreading.

Now, finally, did horror overtake X's face.  This story was bad--all stories of war were, and he'd lived through enough to know that a hundred times over--but this?  A robot being forced to murder his whole family, all because of...a virus?

Oh.  NO.

It couldn't be...but it had to be.  Otherwise Zero wouldn't be talking like that.  It fit.  It just fit.

No wonder Zero hated Dr. Wily so much.  Wily was the one who'd created him.  Wily forced him to destroy his brothers and his friends.

But the story wasn't over yet, and Zero's trailing off did NOT bode well.  He had to know.  This was the part Zero had been building up to, wasn't it?  The part he'd been trying this whole time to avoid.

"What happened?  Please tell me, Zero."

"...Dr. Light...was old. Dying, even. But he was resolved to rebuild his son and keep him away from humanity until a better future could arise...to give him the life he should've had. Dr. Serenade finished Ely and brought her to the bunker so that the rebuilt Rock wouldn't be lonely..." A deep, heartbroken sigh, this time because it was purely his fault. "...And because the robot had so thoroughly destroyed Rock's mind, his memories were--as feared--locked up. He had to be given a new name."

Blood and oil ran cold.  X froze, green eyes wide and staring.

There was only one explanation.  Only one reason Zero would beat around the bush so much.  He was worried about X.  He was always worried...always worrying...because...

A whisper, terrified and disbelieving, a realization without memory.

"It's me.  Isn't it."

Zero opened his eyes and gave X a purely mirthless smile, an expression only someone so deep in regret and pain could give. "Yes."

"And the beta...the robot of Wily's...was you."

"Yes."

Silence.

"Oh my God."

X hunched forward, dropping his face into his hands.  He shrank back into himself as if his falling strands of roguish hair could hide him from the world.

"I don't remember," he whispered, rasping and despondent.  "I don't remember any of it.  I--I don't know if I--want to."

No, don't start crying X--he doesn't need this, ONE of you needs to be strong, and clearly he's not happy having to dredge all of this up for YOUR stupid sake...!  No, don't cry, don't do it, don't...!

But by then, it was already too late.

And by then, once again having practice and by pure and utter reflex, Zero had already gathered his sobbing brother in a hug.

X pulled his hands down from his face and threw them around his big brother, forgetting all about the bandages and sniffling into his shirt.  "It wasn't your fault, Zero," he whispered between gently hitching breaths.  "You weren't in control; it wasn't your fault.  It wasn't your fault...I didn't know.  I didn't know ANY of it; I'm so sorry...poor Blues, and Shadow, Forte and Roll...poor Dr. Light and Serenade...I...I didn't know...!"

"Shhhh." Zero's voice was a tad hoarse itself, but remained soothing and gentle. "It wasn't your fault either. You don't even remember any of it." A sigh. "Maybe I shouldn't've told you..."

"N-no, it's okay."  Though with his voice hitching and spluttering like that, it sounded anything BUT.  "I...asked.  I'm the one who asked."  X drew in a deep, shuddering sigh and let it out slowly.  "I'm glad that...now, at least...what happened back then isn't a burden you have to bear alone."

"And maybe..."  Another sigh, this one much more apprehensive than the first.  "If there was even the slightest chance I could regain those memories on my own...I'm glad I didn't.  I'm glad you told me first.  Otherwise..."  He trailed off.  The 'otherwise' was kind of obvious.

"...yeah. That would be a bit on the bad side." A mirthless chuckle. "Still..."

Zero held X just a tad tighter. "...I'm sorry."

X shook his head, rolling it against the fabric of Zero's shirt.  "It's not your fault."  But he (gently, remembering Zero's bandages now) burrowed his face a little further into his brother's chest.

"Yes it is. I said yes to the bastard, even after all the hell he put everyone through." Zero's head dropped to rest on X's. "...and I remember every single second of it. It's not like now. I black out whenever I lose it now. But then...." A shiver. "I remember every exact detail, right down to the order I dismembered your old body." And it obviously disgusted him.

X gave pause at that one.  A disturbing image, that--and one he didn't intend to dwell on.  He gave Zero a reassuring squeeze after banishing the image from his mind.  "You were young," X reasoned.  "How could you have known any better?  He was your maker.  Of course you'd be inclined to trust him, especially in a dire situation like that."

A maker...

All Zero's talk of him and Dr. Light sharing an idealistic personality had brought a realization to X.  Zero had a last name.  Ely had a last name.  Technically, X should have a last name too.  But he'd never carried it.  He'd never known his creator...his father.  He didn't remember him.

He shook the notion off quickly.  Why was he pining after a man dead for centuries when he had much more important things in front of him?  Zero's pain was more pressing than the desire for a father figure...the desire to know a man who had sacrificed so much for his sake...

"He was my creator, sure. But he wasn't my father; there's a difference." A smile, a brief smile flitted onto Zero's face. "Dr. Light, though...you were lucky, X. Dr. Light was a great man. One helluva father for his kids."

The blonde ruffled his brother's hair. "Very lucky for someone as wide-eyed and idealistic as you. 'Specially back then. You were even WORSE back then, dear God..." A mostly-mirthless chuckle.

"Was I?"  X let out a dry chuckle of his own.  "That's saying something."  A sigh ran through him, bleeding warmth through Zero's shirt.  "Lucky..."  Now he wished he could remember, if at least part.

"Zero...what was my sister like?  And my brothers?  Yours too...?"

X wanted to kick himself the moment the words left his mouth.  He shouldn't be asking Zero to reminisce on something that had such painful connotations--he'd murdered them for Christ's sake!

"Nevermind.  You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No, no...it's fine." Most of those memories only had bad things attached in the end. "...Lessee...Roll was blonde, bright eyed, always cheerful. Wielded a broom like Rai wields that freakin' hammer. Blues...actually, kinda looked like you do now. His hair was reddish, though. And he always wore a scarf and sunglasses. Always. Even at night. He was a snarker." A chuckle. "Shades...oh, hell, he was one of the biggest jerks in the world, and the funniest to boot. He was always arguing with Blues about...everything. Forte was a titanic ham. He had no indoor voice. At all. Someone had to tell him to shut up. Usually Shades. Sometimes you. Always made him sputter and flail when it happened."

X closed his eyes, letting Zero's words paint pictures in his mind.  He chuckled when Zero mentioned old antics, and fell crestfallen when the inevitable note of nostalgia would enter the taller Reploid's voice.

Zero talked long into the night as X never ran out of questions.  He didn't care to know about the bad things that had happened--only about the people from the past.  He wanted to envision the sound of their laughter, the sight of their smiles--to remember it as Zero did.  As a family.

And through most of it, Zero kept his gentle hold on his baby brother, and X kept on leaning against him, sapping comfort from the larger form even as the larger gained comfort from the smaller.

They finally parted when X's responses had become so monotone and monosyllabic that Zero insisted X go to bed, joking that he didn't want any more drool on his shirt than absolutely necessary.

X dropped off almost the moment his head hit the pillow, missing Zero's soft, worried smile as he pulled the covers up around the one he called brother.

***

Names swirled around inside his head--RollBluesShadowForteFatherRollBluesShadowForteFather--a crown of thorns, a Greek chorus, a litany in time to his footfalls tearing over the linoleum hallway.

He threw the door open, and froze.

Roll was gone.  Blues, Shadow and Forte lay on the floor in pools of blood and oil--theirs.  His father was gone.  Gone.

All that remained was him.

His face...he'd never seen anything like that before, and certainly not on the gentle, mute robot.  He only had a half a second, though--less; half a heartbeat--to boggle at the unfiltered, unadulterated, bloodthirsty malevolence.

Off went the first shot.  Megaman dodged to one side in a blur; he hadn't spent twenty years fighting Wily's robots to come out of it with no experience.  He raised his own buster to fire back.

Megaman was fast, but the other was faster.  Claws reached for him before he had a chance to charge.

But he still got off the shot.  And his aim remained true.  The collar broke in two, both charred halves skittering over the floor.  

It wasn't enough to stop the claws.

X jolted upright, folding forward before he could whack his forehead on the underside of the bunk above.  He wrapped his arms around himself to try to quell the shaking overwhelming his entire body--to try to gain some grip on the here and now and forget the vicious snarl and the smell of blood and the feeling of being ripped apart--

A low, garbled moan choked out of the Reploid.  He shuddered and tried to pull in a breath, but he couldn't seem to get any air.  He let out what little air he had managed to draw in, a final dry gasp before dissolving into sobs.

Zero, as usual, was in the midst of a fitful and shallow sleep when the sobs came like an alarm. His eyes snapped open, his body jolting up and his head barely missing the ceiling above. He had scrambled off the top bunk and had plopped to his feet on the carpet before most Reploids could blink. Shortly after, he had ducked under to fit on X's bunk and had gathered his brother in a hug.

Questions would be for later. Comfort had to be given NOW.

X's sobs only grew wilder and louder the moment Zero appeared.  He clung to his older brother fiercely, completely forgetting the open wounds still bandaged under Zero's clothes.  In between gasps he seemed to be trying to speak, but every syllable remained unintelligible in the face of the smaller Reploid's half-hysterical wailing.

After a few good minutes of this--X choking on his own sobs and Zero clinging to him more fiercely, more protectively with each passing second--X finally managed to suck in enough air, and quell his quaking enough, to gasp out words.

"It's...it's not you," he choked.  "It wasn't you; you weren't the same; it wasn't you at all!"  The last few words rose in a keening wail, and X returned his face to Zero's chest, burying it there and giving up speaking.

Zero froze. The blood fled from his face instantaneously. "...Y-you remember--?!" Well, fuck, no wonder he had fallen to pieces. The blonde's face hardened as he pulled X closer, protectively, as if he could protect him from the memories of murder.

X could have stayed like that, simply cradled by his brother's protective embrace, if not for the knowledge that nightmares could often be banished by talking them away.  And he wanted the images to leave him, badly.

After a moment of silence--too long; his desire to speak choked the air as much as his sobs choked him--X sucked in a deep breath and tried again.  "I...I saw it."  He swallowed, realizing how meek he sounded, and probably how hard it was for Zero to hear him.  "Th-the thing y-you kept avoiding...that day, when..."  He couldn't say it.  His breath hitched, and he fisted a hand in Zero's shirt.

"It wasn't your fault," he garbled miserably.  "It wasn't."

"It wasn't even...YOU."

Zero's eyes half-masted, recalling the events. He let out a soft whisper of a sigh and simply kept cradling X. Any protests would just cause the smaller Reploid to freak more, in all honesty.

He didn't want to say it; it was exactly the wrong thing.  But he couldn't help it.  The nightmare needed to be purged.  The memory needed to be purged.  So the words left his mouth before he could stop them.

"I was...scared."  X's voice dropped to a terrified whisper.  "It hurt.  I didn't know that..."  That dying could be so painful?  Don't be an idiot, X, of course death is painful.  You've been through hell in THIS life; you should know that.  But to be ripped apart by a member of your own family...?  That was what hurt the most.  But X finally gained the presence of mind to clamp down on his mouth and keep that part inside.  Hell if Zero needed to hear that.

Pity Zero knew X better than that, anyway. But, at least, he knew how to keep a semblance of calm and keep his regret under wraps. Instead, he just pulled X in a little closer, resting his head on top of the Blue Bomber's, silent.

X's sobs were growing softer, now, weaker.  His clinging grip on the Red Ripper's shirt lessened, and he leaned heavily against him instead.

Finally, he stopped crying all together, and fell silent, save for the occasional weary, hitching breath.

"...I don't want to see anything like that again."

There had to be a way to prevent it.  Even if it meant never having memories of the ones he'd loved in his past life, he never wanted to relive that pain again.  He never wanted to see that look on Zero's face ever again.

Zero didn't respond vocally, but his body sagging slightly screamed of apologies and regrets, knowing that saying a word would cause him to go on an infinite loop of despairing thoughts before his mind would crash, processors unable to handle it. Which was just not a good way to go, however much of an exaggeration.

When Zero didn't respond, X's eyes began to droop again, nothing outside keeping him awake and everything inside telling him to rest after that kind of trauma.  He raised a hand near his face, pulling lightly at the fabric of Zero's shirt and resting his hand near his cheek.

"But I won't, right?" he asked blearily, knowing that there was no real way Zero could guarantee something like that, but needing to hear it anyway.  "An' even if I do, you're still here...you're still you...an' it doesn't matter what you say cause you're not a monster.  You're not.  You're my brother...no matter what happened in the past."

Zero froze again. Gulped. And put on the most gentle, reassuring attitude he could. "Right."

That was all he needed to hear.  Just that one syllable, gentle and reassuring, was all X needed.

Even if he was half-certain it was a lie.

The Blue Bomber let out a soft, sleepy mumble before his head drooped against Zero.  He drifted off in the next moment.

Zero lowered him back to his pillow, gently, not wanting to disturb the smaller Reploid's rest. Just as slowly, he stood, pulling himself back to his bunk. With a low mumble about Fate really hating them, the blonde was out even before his head dropped into the pillow.